Review: Stake Land

Director: Jim Mickle

Cast: Connor Paolo, Nick Damici, Kelly McGillis, Danielle Harris, Michael Cerveris

Certification: 15

Synopsis: A vampire epidemic has swept across what is left of the nation’s abandoned towns and cities, and it’s up to Mister (Nick Damici), a death dealing, rogue vampire hunter, to get Martin (Connor Paolo) safely north to Canada, the continent’s New Eden.

Straight off the bat – STAKE LAND is not a Vampire movie! It is a fairly typical Zombie movie that uses semblances of the Vampire genre to throw a few curve balls into the narrative mix. It’s almost as though the Vampire element were an after thought added to try and differentiate the film from other post-apocalypse monster movies and this sets the standard of the film as a whole; difference for the stake of difference.

Like a Zombie movie the cause for global Vampire infestation is explained simply as an outbreak or a plague, and this works fine with the undead – however STAKE LAND tries to have it both ways, it hints at a far larger mythology of Vampires and Slayers, but shies away from creating a concrete universe and explaining the whys and wherefores. Yes the Vamps have fangs and if they bite you – you’ll turn into one, but they are animalistic and mindless. Yes they burn up in the sun – but you never see this happen. To kill them you have to stake them in the heart or chop off their head – but if you maim them they’ll hobble around for the rest of their days as opposed to regenerating.

Vampire movies by their nature are fantasy and mythical – whereas Zombie films traditionally pose a question of survival in a mostly real world setting. STAKE LAND flips between the two at it’s convenience making the whole affair less convincing than it could’ve been. Other than stumbling over what it’s trying to be, STAKE LAND does a few things right: It’s scripting is sharp and never strays into exposition, the language used also has a casual argot that furthers the believability of the world presented on screen, and the relatively unknown cast hold their own well.

The film is essentially a road movie – and this is both a strength and weakness. It has a brilliant meandering feel created by prefect settings and an atmospheric soundtrack. As the lead characters make their way to ‘New Eden’ we see carnage and dilapidation on every roadside which all looks fantastic. The films core elements are extremely similar to 2009s Zombieland but the slow pace and  (Casey Affleck-esque) narration by Paolo gives it the more highbrow tone of a film like Badlands.  Whilst the slow build is very effective in creating mood – there aren’t nearly enough hardcore Vampire scenes to satisfy the audiences bloodlust and as a result the film begins to drag from the halfway point on-wards.

This pacing issue isn’t helped by the fact that we never really learn anything about our central characters and their motivations. Mister takes on Martin as a kind of Vamp slaying apprentice –which is the set up for a fair few hokey training montages of Zen slaying moves set against picturesque sunset back drops. Kinda hammy really. You’re led to wonder why he cares for the boy seeing as he’s such a hard-ass the rest of the time.  As Mister and Martin travel along they pick up several roadside stragglers who fit the archetypes of the characters we normally meet in these films; a Nun, an ex-soldier, a young runaway girl – but no-ones story is really ever explored so ultimately you just don’t care.

Vampire or Zombie? This is about as good as it gets for Stake Land

The opening scene is easily the movie’s best bit – when we see how Mister rescues Martin from a Vampire attack in his family’s barn. This scene is high paced, gory, creepy and is an excellent set up. Unfortunately neither the Vamp action nor character depth move on from here. Disappointingly the Vampires soon start to play second fiddle as the movie’s baddies, as that other stalwart of a post-apocalyptic world rears its ugly, overplayed head – fanatic religion. Yes ‘The Brotherhood’ a group of territorial monks who believe the Vampires were sent by God to destroy the sinners really become the main villains and though this is the cause of a couple of tense moments, really it just feels like the Make-Up and FX budget was too small to afford a few more gushing jugulars.

Overall STAKE LAND fails to perform, which is a shame. The tone it sets is great but it struggles to find the balance between a thoughtful exploration of futility and aimlessness with action and horror. It starts off with so much promise but squanders its unique perspective by failing to deliver the goods where they count. There isn’t even enough wit, scares and gore to make it a cult classic.

STAKE LAND is a mish-mash of a handful of films you’ve already seen – Zombieland, Bandlands, Blade 2 , The Road and maybe even a little bit of Mad Max. Unfortunately there are glimpses of originality but they are stifled by the films indecision to come down of either side of the line –making the whole affair rather unconvincing.

STAKE LAND is released 17^th June.