Actors: Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, Leslie Bibb, Sylvester Stallone, Cher, Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler.
Certification:PG
Synopsis: When his ex-girlfriend walks back into his life, Zookeeper Griffin (James) concocts a plan to get a new job as a car salesman and win her back. Unfortunately the animals don’t want him to leave and decide to break their code of silence and teach Griffin how to woo a lady animal style so that he won’t leave…with hilarious consequences.
Whilst much of summer’s silver screen-time is reserved for superheroes, robots, cowboys and aliens – it is also important to remember the kiddy-winks are on their hols and so it’s only fair that they get their share. Filling that spot this summer is ZOOKEEPER – a kid friendly rom-com where hapless nice guy Kevin James gets lessons in love from the animals at work.
This type of cinematic fare can provide some silly giggles that make for a surprisingly enjoyable film for kids and adults alike – however ZOOKEEPER is devoid of any real side-splitters, has a predictably boring story, a cast of animals that are more annoying than funny and a piss poor script that fails to elevate the movie beyond the drab conventions of it’s genre. Considering this sub-par verdict it is surprising then that there is a menagerie Hollywood’s A-list providing the voices of the animals including Sly Stallone, Cher, Nick Nolte and Jon Favreau to name a few – but all of them fail to inflect any personality or charm into their role…pay-cheque anyone?!
The story is standard and involves the high-jinks of Kevin James trying to win back his ex-girlfriend played by Leslie Bibb. The movie starts well with some great comic timing from the lead actors – the Mariachi band being a particularly nifty gag. Sadly after a great introductory sequence the film bombs into a series of slapstick prat-falls and one-liners that simply aren’t funny. The film gets more predictable as it goes on and ends on a tired ‘be who you are moral’. There are set pieces in the movie such as taking a gorilla to TGI Friday’s that could’ve been far more original and funny but somehow manage to be drawn out and boring. What is worse is that the best bits are in the trailer – the porcupine quill in the face which is a great moment totally made by Kevin James’ reaction, but ruined by the fact you may know it’s coming (sorry for that potential spoiler). Its such a shame that the promo material reveals sections such as this because if they were a surprise would no doubt have the audience in stitches.
Granted ZOOKEPPER is a kids movie so you might think THN is being a little harsh – we are pretty sure however, that a lot of the poop slinging jokes are well below the standard of your average sproglet. The premise of talking animals is such a limp and bland hook that lacks any real enchantment factor to really capture the imagination of the younger audience. Not only that, but in a world where ALL animals can talk (they just don’t because its their secret) the gags are surprising limited and never stretches out of the confines of the Zoo and so we are stuck with about 6 unfunny animals throughout.
Despite Kevin James’ usually appearance in pretty lame movies – he himself has a great comic timing – delivering quips with the slick stylings of a chubby Vince Vaughn, there is a bit of this in ZOOKEEPER but not enough to counteract the annoying animals. Not only are the animals not funny – some of the voices are excruciatingly irritating, Adam Sandler’s monkey most of all, even worse it is quite clear that some of the scripting was written around what the animals happened to do whilst being filmed. This retrospective writing isn’t funny and gives the film a half-baked feel. The tired plot and script make all members of the cast look bad and you wonder what Rosario Dawson is doing there – Leslie Bibb plays the annoying and ultimately shallow love interest but without any real comedy and Joe Rogan really fumbles the role of the arrogant jock – a part that in any film provides space for a great comic acting. The real treat comes in the shape of Ken Jeong, whom you may recognise as the camp Chinese guy in the Hangover. He appears only a couple of times as the weird reptile handler ‘Venom’ but each appearance is an oasis of laughs in a comedy desert.
A kids movie that will probably give them a few chuckles to see a talking monkey – adults prepare to be bored stiff. Sadly the opportunity for some more intelligent jokes and clever scripting is missed, making for a slow and by the number movie that condescends it target audience. Maybe just take them to the zoo for real this summer.
ZOOKEEPER is out Friday 29th July .
A BA in Media & an Art MA doesn’t get you much in today’s world – what it does give you however is a butt-load of time to watch a heck of a lot of movies and engage in extensive (if not pointless) cinematic chitter chatter. Movies and pop-culture have always been at the forefront of Joe’s interest who has been writing for THN since 2009. With self-aggrandised areas of expertise including 1970s New Hollywood, The Coen Brothers, Sci-Fi and Adam Sandler, Joe’s voyeuristic habits rebound between Cinematic Classics and Hollywood ephemera, a potent mix at once impressively comprehensive and shamelessly low-brow.
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