Director: Garry Marshall
Cast: Michelle Pfeiffer, Ashton Kutcher, Robert De Niro, Jon Bon Jovi, Hilary Swank, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lea Michelle, Sarah Jessica Parker, Zac Efron, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Alyssa Milano, Common, Jessica Biel
Running Time: 117 mins
Certificate: 12A
Synopsis: NEW YEAR’S EVE tells the story of a group of New Yorkers whose lives come together on one night in late December…
Where indeed do I begin with NEW YEAR’S EVE? Well, let’s take a look at the talent that is on display in this seasonal flick… We have (deep breath), Michelle Pfeiffer, Ashton Kutcher, Robert De Niro, Jon Bon Jovi, Hilary Swank, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lea Michelle, Sarah Jessica Parker, Zac Efron, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Alyssa Milano, Common, Jessica Biel, and many more in a film by Garry Marshall, he who has brought us the likes of PRETTY WOMAN, FRANKIE AND JOHNNY, THE PRINCESS DIARIES and VALENTINE’S DAY, his last effort that shares the format, and indeed quite obviously aimed at the same target audience. Personally, I have not had the pleasure of seeing that movie, so it’s safe to say that I had no preconceptions going into the film on Monday evening. Now, I love a good chick flick, almost as much as the next woman, and was looking forward to seeing what this A-list cast, and perhaps one of Hollywood’s most successful romantic comedy directors had delivered for ‘this holiday season.’
I try not to get carried away with the event and try to absorb the film on its own merit, but the lovely folks at the WB did put on a fine spread with Doritos, party bags and as much champagne as a seasoned film critic could want on hand for us to throw down our throats. The top room of the Vue in Leicester Square was decked out in helium filled balloons, photo booths and enough cheesy music to get even the most hardened journalist’s foot a tapping. Great start. Then they played the film.
It’s bad. Really bad, though not in that ‘so bad it’s good’ way. The appearances of nearly every actor starring in this film are mostly glorified cameos. There are too many of them, all angling for screen time pulling (fair dos) all that they possibly can from this awful, awful screenplay. The dialogue is so so cheesy, and the little teeny stories so contrived and not thought through in any way or fleshed out at all, that all fall flat on their face. I was not interested or engaged with any of the characters in this film and I couldn’t give a darn about any of them. Saying that, the sequence where Zac Efron takes Michelle Pfeifer around the city trying to fulfill a pointless bucket list almost had me. Almost. Most of the characters actually really annoyed me rather than provoke any sort of sentimental reaction or emotion from within me. It tries to be LOVE ACTUALLY, but it’s fails miserably on all counts. I actually quite like that movie, so that tells you the kind of enjoyment that this critic can get from a good seasonal romance story. That film is not perfect, but it’s CASABLANCA compared to this. NYE plays like some kind of TV movie of the week, the script not that much better than that your average TV soap opera. In fact, I’d rather watch a feature length Emmerdale farm special than this tosh again.
I noticed the heavily female audience laughing at some points during the film, so maybe there’s something that I’m missing. I found myself turning to see who was responsible… and almost mouthing ‘really?’
In addition, I take great offence in having a massive film poster for SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS thrusted in my face, not once but three times during the heavy Times Square scenes. ‘Shadows’ is an upcoming WB movie, and the studio seem to have taken product placement to a whole new level placing the equivilent of a full page ad in another of their movies, just a week before the one on display is released. Not cool.
Wooden acting, terrible script, overlong, overblown, very irritating and indeed boring; and I really wanted to like it… but very obviously didn’t.
Who would have thought we’d have to wait all of the way until NEW YEAR’S EVE to see the worst film of the year?
NEW YEAR’S EVE is playing in UK cinemas from Thursday 8th December 2011.
