Director: Jonathan Glendening
Cast: Adele Silva, Barbara Nedeljakova, Billy Murray, Martin Compston, Ali Bastian, Robert Englund
Running time: 93 minutes
Certificate: 15
Synopsis: When stripper Justice (Silva) accidentally kills a werewolf, his ‘pack’ head to her club for revenge. Justice and her girls prepare to do battle, but what she doesn’t know is that her boyfriend Scott (Compston) is one of the bloodthirsty lycanthropes…
It would be easy to assume that a film entitled STRIPPERS VS WEREWOLVES would – to coin the old cliché – do what it says on the tin. How curious then, that the last effort from the now-defunct Black and Blue Films should be surprisingly light on stripper-werewolf action. Unfortunately, this is not the only vital ingredient missing from the horror-comedy, most notably both horror and comedy…
That the film is short of scares is not the its biggest flaw however. Any film titled STRIPPERS VS WEREWOLVES is sure to not take itself too seriously, and mercifully, it doesn’t, opting to poke fun at itself instead. However, screenwriters Pat Higgins and Phillip Barron have a great deal to answer for here: the film is pitifully short on humour… not that it doesn’t try to be funny, of course, but all jokes revolve around schoolboy-level grot and slapstick, lame one-liners, and dog-based puns (this goes so far anyone could be forgiven for expecting EASTENDERS’ own Billy Murray to cock his leg against a lamppost any second).
The writing continues to be a problem elsewhere too; the convoluted plotting can be forgiven for the sake of dramatic requirements (werewolf ‘Alpha’ Ferris apparently battled strip club manager Jeanette back in the 1980s), but even the most talented actors would struggle to wrap their tongues around this you-can-write-this-shit-but-you-sure-can’t-say-it dialogue, let alone British soap’s finest. More concerned with comedic set ups between various boyfriend-girlfriend duos in the film, the script stumbles from one unamusing scene to the next, the most unforgiving of which feature actor-producer Simon Phillips as vampire hunter/occultist/pleb Sinclair, whose attempts at gags are, to be blunt, laughable. Consequently, the film never satisfyingly delivers the battle promised in the title, and perhaps loses sight of what is key to a production such as this. Instead of am almighty substantial stripper Vs werewolf showdown, there’s too much preamble as the ‘pack’ try to get unravel the mystery of their fellow wolf’s death.
But if there’s something STRIPPERS VS WEREWOLVES does have, it’s heart. There’s no doubt that Black and Blue Films have poured absolute passion into this project, and there is some fun to be had, just nowhere near enough. Steven Berkoff, Billy Murray, and Robert Englund add some credentials to the proceedings, and the strippers themselves are decent enough, with Adele Silva and Barbara Nedeljakova seemingly on board with the tone and self-awareness of the film. Additionally, young stud lycanthrope Martin Compston may be a British name to watch. How frustrating then, that the film should fail to mesh together into something cohesive and satisfying; the premise, enthusiasm, and good intentions are all there, each savagely let down by uninspired writing and muddled direction (veering from sub-Guy Ritchie editing to random comic book paneling). Coming so late in the ‘Vs’ cycle, STRIPPERS VS WEREWOLVES needed to deliver big in order to mark its territory, but what promised to be howling good fun is unfortunately resigned to the doghouse. See… it’s not funny, is it?
STRIPPERS VS WEREWOLVES is released Friday 27th April
