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No Hugging, No Learning: Five Great TV Families

The family is one of TV’s most reliable backdrops. From THE SIMPSONS to THE SOPRANOS, the small screen has always recognised the pathos, drama and laughs that are dredged from those nearest and dearest to us. Of course, it’s a subject matter we can relate to easily: the vast majority of us have a family in some form or another, and know that family matters aren’t always easy. In the world of TV, though, problems might get a little more out of hand than an argument over Monopoly.

Check out five of THN’s favourite ever TV families

The Tortellis – CHEERS (1982-1993)

Carla Tortelli is the pin that bursts the bubble of happy warmth in Boston’s favourite bar. Whenever a waitress is getting ideas above her social station, whenever a pompous egghead pontificates for too long on a philosophical quandary, whenever a postman won’t stop spouting trivia, Carla is there with a savage putdown and/or a physical threat. She is also alarmingly fertile; by the end of the series, her brood is in double figures. The Tortelli children are by and large a feral bunch, stealing, fighting and terrorising the East Coast to the extent that Carla doesn’t even try to have any idea where they are when she’s not around. But, especially towards the end of the show’s run, they are a remarkably stable family unit. Carla’s children come from at least three different fathers (a slob, an intellectual and a hockey player), and yet gel as a group, albeit one with a proclivity for at times pretty serious crime. The Tortelli kids also give an insight into Carla’s snarling rage issues: she knows how to deal with these terrifying children. Carla the authority figure may kill the mood in the context of a friendly drink, but probably keeps her offspring out of jail.

The Wilkersons – MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE (2000-2006)

The Wilkersons (which Wikipedia assures is their canonical name) take their inspiration from generations of classic sitcom families: a bumbling husband, a bossy wife and a whole mess of annoying kids. Its single camera zip and fourth wall-breaking oddness assures it stands out from the EVERYBODY LOVES RAMONDs of this world, but family strife is hardly new ground for TV. Where MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE excels though, is in the sheer believability of its main characters as a family unit. From the first episode, a combination of great writing, impeccable child actors and pathos from the two grown-ups (along with its somewhat high concept, a child genius surrounded by a boorish family) elevates MALCOLM above TV’s less convincing domestic comedies. Further praise must be given for its refusal to slip into hugs and schmaltz. For every scene of Lois explaining why she loves her kids so darn much, there’s a shot of a pre-meth and cancer Bryan Cranston power-walking or goofing around with roller blades. With its in-depth examination of dysfunctional family dynamics, it was almost a precursor to…

The Bluths – ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (2003-2006)

Orange County’s perennial band of nuisances come across as one of TV’s most unsympathetic set of characters, and in a way, that’s accurate. The Wilkersons may bicker and exact petty acts of revenge on each other around the clock, but they have a lot of issues to work through, not least their financial woes. The Bluths have no such excuse. Rich and spoiled, the whole family has coasted through life in appalling luxury, never meeting a whim they couldn’t indulge. With this in mind, Michael and George Michael’s ability to think of others and plan more than a few hours ahead is all the more impressive. George and Lucille Bluth, the parental figures, have familial manipulation down to a tee, a backlog of psychological tricks to keep their kids in line. George favours grandiose prop-based stunts, often involving one armed associate J Walter Weatherman, while Lucille spreads dissent in the ranks by talking behind each of her children’s backs in turn. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT is far from heartless, though, and shows us the family members at their most vulnerable. They know when they’ve gone too far, and while they won’t stop making the same mistakes, they’ll always try to remedy their errors, usually with a grammatically flawed banner.

The Farnsworths/Frys – FUTURAMA (1999- present)

The three members of the Farnsworth family may seem like a young buffoon, an old maniac, and an extremely annoying kid, but in truth they are three of the most exceptional human beings in the year 3000. Hubert Farnsworth is over a century and a half old and still able to create devices that can bring the world to its knees. He created the modern (i.e: future) robot in all its booze-guzzling, humanity-hating glory, and accidentally built a parallel universe within a box. Time traveler and pizza delivery boy Philip J Fry (and great, great (etc) Uncle to Farnsworth) has an even greater resume of wacky incidents and adventures. Having frozen himself in time for 1000 years, he adapted remarkably quickly to an alien future, befriended a colourful cast of space goons, and travelled back in time to conceive a member of his own family. Indeed, the least interesting member of the collective is young Cubert, who is a clone of the Professor. And even he is incredibly intelligent, and has his own spaceship in one episode.

The Palmers – TWIN PEAKS (1990-1991)

TWIN PEAKS, David Lynch’s surreal-noir-mystery label-defying masterpiece, takes place in an eerie, tight knit town in Washington, which is shaken up by a particularly grisly murder. It’s the type of town where everyone knows everyone else, and as such depicts several families. Among these are the wealthy Hornes, with tearaway daughter Audrey and potential wrong ‘un Ben, and the quieter but secretive Haywards, headlined by Donna, best friend of murder victim Laura Palmer. But it’s the Palmers that provide the early partof the series with most of its intrigue and forward momentum. In Twin Peaks, everyone has at least one burning secret, but no one seems more ravaged by the weight of said secrets than the Palmers. Sarah Palmer, Laura’s mother, suffers from bewildering dreams and visits from a terrifying lank haired presence called Bob. Leland Palmer, played by the always-great Ray Wise, undergoes a series of personality overhauls, not to mention a sudden case of Hair Turning White and an impulsive need to sing fun, upbeat tunes at the least appropriate of times. Coupled with Laura’s presence from beyond the grave, in the form of tape recordings, videos and  a general aura of Unfinished Business, the Palmers might take the crown for TV family you really don’t want to be a part of.

And just to play devil’s advocate, here’s one not so great TV family…

The Brices – THE WIRE (2002-2008)

When a mass-murdering, drug dealing-patriarch is not the worst member of the family, something is clearly not right. Wee-Bey, Delonda and 14-year-old Namond Brice make up probably the most developed family in THE WIRE, and create a frankly chilling portrait. Delonda Brice is perhaps the least sympathetic character in a show full of global human traffickers and violently corrupt cops. Unwilling to live off the generous stipend she receives from Brianna Barksdale, she forces her son to continue selling drugs, a business he is simply not built for. Her scenes are among the most heart wrenching in THE WIRE’s superlative fourth season; she bullies and intimidates Namond, a bright and funny kid who would’ve had a real chance given different circumstances, throwing him out into the streets and insisting that he live up to his father’s name. Wee-Bey, by comparison, is pleasant and genial, especially for a ruthless gangland assassin. But with his lifetime of incarceration keeping him from watching over his son, Delonda is free to terrorise Namond into a life that has already claimed his father.

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