Ridiculous Rewrite: Walken And Pacino Shoot Clouds In ‘Stand Up Guys’

(This is a spoof article using genuine images for a Ridiculous Rewrite of the plot. For real details, click here)

Look at some new images from STAND UP GUYS, a haunting new drama about dementia.

Christopher Walken (KANGAROO JACK, GIGLI) and Al Pacino (JACK & JILL, GIGLI) star as two former hitmen who, in their youth, would kill for money and then lay on the grass, finding shapes in the clouds above. Now in their twilight years, the pair find themselves in the torturous grip of dementia, and far from being calmed by the fluffy white sky pillows, they’re absolutely FURIOUS. So every day they leave their nursing home all guns a-blazing, determined to shoot down every cloud that passes.

Here we see Pacino’s character Bunty particularly enraged by a passing group of altostratus, and shooting’em up with extreme prejudice. Alas he fails to really make a dent, as he doesn’t realise his 9mm pistols don’t really have the range to pierce a cloud, let alone send it crashing to Earth. So he calls for Ronty (Walken) to come out and assist. This is the core sequence of the film and involves Bunty and Ronty unloading at the sky for 72 minutes of the film’s 90 minute running time. Luckily, there are no opening or closing credits, so the remaining 18 minutes will be pure plot and character development.

Here are the pictures. Try hard not to weep.

STAND UP GUYS is directed by Fisher Stevens (SUPER MARIO BROS – 1993, SHORT CIRCUIT 2 – 1988), and co-stars Alan Arkin (THE SANTA CLASUE 3: THE ESCAPE CLASUE) Julianna Margulies (SNAKES ON A PLANE) and Katheryn Winnick (A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLIE SWAN III).

It should be blasting its way into cinemas in 2013.

Sources: Worst Previews and Eternal Wagon of Hate and Despair; The Daily Mail