It’s the most wonderful time of the year. From the 23–27th August, Film4’s annual FrightFest horror spectacular will take over London’s Leicester Square, treating the mildly socially deranged to five glorious days of gore. But, if like me, the contents of your wallet fills you with more terror than a hatchet through the face, never fear! The FrightFest season on Film4 is also upon us! 13 nights of films to feed your appetite for torture, slashings, hauntings, and all around downright gruesomeness. I’m excited. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
To get you all hyped up and ready, here are five picks to look out for from the schedule running until 27th August.
ANTICHRIST
Let’s start as we mean to go on, with the most absurdly disturbing of the bunch. You’ll need a gag reflex of steel to get through this one. Bizarre dream-weaver Lars Von Trier’s distressing tale of a couple (Willem Defoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg) dealing with the grief of losing a child, albeit in very, very different ways.
While indulging in a spot of ‘afternoon delight’, the couple fail to notice their young son climbing about his room, and subsequently falling out of the window to his death. And if you think that’s dark… tip of the iceberg. In order to deal with their grief and salvage what’s left of their marriage, they retreat to their ‘cabin in the woods’, four words that when put together have ‘impending terror’ written all over them. What follows is a jaunty romp through Gainsbourg’s slowly deteriorating sanity and her husband’s fleeting attempts to cure her. I won’t give too much away, but let me just say this… genital mutilation. Try and keep that popcorn down.
FROZEN
And she never went skiing again.
After a long day riding those slopes, Dan, his girlfriend Parker, and best friend Iceman from X-Men (coincidence?) decide to take one last chairlift up the mountain. But when they are forgotten about and consequently stranded, dangling far off the ground, panic inevitably sets in. And not just on-screen. Anxiety levels will not be low for you either, viewer, whilst enjoying this ‘oh-god-what-are-they-going-to-do!?’ piece of cinema. You quickly realise there are much worse ways to go than freezing to death. Is that I wolf I hear? No hope. No hope. I do hate the phrase ‘on the edge of your seat’, but you will be, so I apologise for the cliché but there you go. Totally brilliant.
SORORITY ROW
Nothing says ‘guilty pleasure’ to me like a good old trashy teen slasher. And this one’s got Audrina from THE HILLS getting stabbed in the boob with a tyre iron! Joy!
Seeking revenge on a cheating boyfriend, six sorority sisters find themselves in a hot mess after a prank gets out of hand and one of them winds up dead. Sorry Audrina. There’s always another THE HILLS spinoff? No? After dumping the body, the sisters try to get on with the rest of their lives. Plenty more bikini carwashes to keep them occupied. But alas! After graduation the friends find themselves stalked by a mysterious cloaked-killer, hellbent on seeing off the remains of the group. Think I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER meets THE HOUSE BUNNY. I could now make a hilarious reference to Rumor Willis’ jaw being the most frightening thing in it, but I think that’s been done.
ROSEMARY’S BABY
A pure classic. And not just for the horror genre, but for the haircut of Mia Farrow that shaped a generation of androgynous fashionistas. A perfect example of late 1960s/early ’70s horror that has that unnervingly creepy undertone running throughout. There’s just something about that era isn’t there?
Brilliant mentalist Roman Polanski directs this tale of Rosemary Woodhouse (Farrow), who moves into a new apartment with her struggling actor husband, Guy. This was her first mistake. Shortly after befriending her eccentric, elderly neighbours, Minnie and Roman, she suffers from bizarre nightmares, of which the line between fantasy and reality is worryingly blurred. And when she suddenly finds herself all knocked-up and her health rapidly deteriorates, her paranoia about her overly helpful and downright peculiar neighbours heightens dramatically.
This really is a fantastic conspiratorial thriller, which will have you rooting for poor Rosemary with her hypnotically gentle voice, and really quite exquisite bottom. A must see.
THE DESCENT
One of my absolute favourite horrors, if not films, of all time. If you suffer from claustrophobia then THE DESCENT is sure to have you hyperventilating yourself to a damn good time within minutes. Why anyone would ant to go potholing is beyond me, but this film sees six ballsy women taking the plunge into a cavernous mountain in order to distract their friend Sarah from the recent loss of her husband and daughter. ‘What coukd possibly go wrong?’ I hear you cry in sarcastic unison. Well, probably more than you think. After a rock fall renders the group helpless and trapped below the ground, they are faced with an even bigger problem: they’re not alone down there. What follows is a fight for survival, as six women battle against creatures beyond their comprehension (man/bat/dolphin hybrid? I have no idea) as well as their own inner demons. Pick axes will fly, limbs will break, and vengeance will be had.
