Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon – The Festive Edition

We have all seen the adverts lately – you know, the ones where film and TV’s Kevin Bacon cleverly satirises the game that bears his name. In case you are not aware, it involves getting from one random person, via ‘six degrees of separation’, to Kevin Bacon. Well, as it is the season to be jolly and all, THN thought it appropriate to attempt to link the film star with the main man himself, Santa Clause. So without further adieu…

Santa Claus:

The big guy in red has been imitated more times than Tommy Cooper. And just like that, he’s on screen again whether it’s Leslie Nielsen, Richard Attenborough or Dan Aykroyd you can bet he’ll bring a smile to your face – even if for all the wrong reasons (I’m talking to you Mr Aykroyd). What would Christmas be like without those rosy red cheeks and that large, wobbly belly – but enough about John Prescott. Santa has graced the silver screen like a colossus since its invention, and I think the art of filmmaking, not just the season itself, is richer for his presence. And of course who can forget his companions? Comet, Cupid, erm… David, Bruce… and…

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer:

Ah, Rudolph! What would Santa do without his guiding light? A victim of bullying from an early age, Rudolph barely got through school. Other reindeer would steal his patch of grass and defecate on his favourite sleeping spot, under the willow tree. Several years of torment went by until Rudolph, during a school trip to a museum, got bit by a radioactive spider and developed powers only usually possessed by… oh wait, that’s Peter Parker. Anyway, Rudolph was bullied. Those violent miscreants soon changed their ways, however, on one foggy Christmas Eve. That’s correct; Rudolph’s nose shone so bright that people down below thought the North Star had merged with red Kryptonite. And that, as they say, was that! Right! So! Where will Rudolph lead us to next you ask? Well…

Rudolph Nureyev:

The famous ballet dancer, and namesake of one red nosed reindeer, is a must see for Christmas enthusiasts. Well, of a certain class – one who Billy Connolly would describe as ‘the surname clan’. “Farquhar have you seen Linley?” “Yes, he’s downstairs with Thompson and Dubois.” But seriously, all joking aside, the ballets of composers like Tchaikovsky are an important part of Christmas. Even if you don’t realise it, you will have heard their music on almost every festive movie going. What’s that catchy tune Arnold Schwarzenegger’s running to in JINGLE ALL THE WAY? Ah yes, it’s from the NUTCRACKER, a famous ballet. See! Rudolph is perhaps ballet’s most famous practitioner, so famous in fact that at one point he appeared on none other than…

The Muppet Show:

In an inspired piece of punnery, Mr Nureyev appeared in the Muppet version of ‘Swine Lake’. They don’t make them like that anymore. Although, thanks to Jason Segel, they do! What can I say about the Muppets? That is other than Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzy – I love you all. The Muppets represent what Christmas means more than anyone else on this list – even more than Santa himself. Whereas Santa only appears once a year to spread cheer, the Muppets have turned up consistently for seven decades. Stick that in your bag and empty it, St Nick. THE MUPPETS CHRISTMAS CAROL in particular is a Ned Ryerson doozy with the docile, sorry dulcet tones of Michael Caine filling the chilly winter air. Perfection! It’s not well worn Scrooge that sends us to our next connection however, but a more recent film…

Whoopi Goldberg:

Ms Goldberg appeared in the largely unforgettable IT’S A VERY MERRY MUPPET CHRISTMAS. I mean, without Harry Palmer, what’s the point? Really? Anyway, nobody thought to tell the producers this. Bless them. Whoopi is perhaps most famous for such films as SISTER ACT and GHOST. And no, not the type of ghost that haunts somebody with the intention of making them a better person! This ghost is intent on one thing only – letting his wife know who to wreak vengeance upon for his untimely demise. Speaking of scary things, Whoopi also appeared next to Tim Curry’s ‘vilderness girrrrl’ in NATIONAL LAMPOON’S LOADED WEAPON. And…

… guess who made his film debut in another National Lampoon’s title, ANIMAL HOUSE? Yes, you guessed it – Kevin Bacon.

And there you have it: Santa Clause to Kevin Bacon. Of course, we could have just said ‘Santa Clause delivers presents to Kevin Bacon’, but where’s the fun in that? And besides, we don’t know if he’s been naughty or nice. I think I’ll look at his filmography… TREMORS, FOOTLOOSE, MYSTIC RIVER and… PICTURE PERFECT? It looks like it will be another lean year for the Bacon.