Leaked Photos: A Feminist Pervert’s Opinion

Hello everybody. My name’s John and… I’m a pervert. *Hello John* It’s been… five hundred and forty minutes since my last hand-shandy and my next one should be within the hour. But it will NOT be to those leaked photos of Jennifer Lawrence, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and all those other poor sods who have had their privacy deflate like a flan in a cupboard. And you know why? Because I’m not a prick. Because I’m not into invading people’s privacy and I would never reward this foul, venomous behaviour. Looking for these leaked photos is no better than going through somebody’s phone when they’re out of the room. There’s nothing wrong with being a pervert, but if you’re going to ogle someone’s pictures, keep your voyeurism to imagery that the person WANTS you to see. Otherwise it’s just grotty. For anyone considering looking (if you haven’t already) then A) you’re indulging in a sex crime and B) you can’t find pictures of Rihanna to masturbate to on the internet already? Jesus.

Scanning through Twitter I’ve come across (steady!) some baffling arguments ranging from well-intended-but-misguided to so stupidity is so profound, it made me feel like the time I accidentally put my trainers in the washing machine feel like a I’d invented calculus.

IF THEY DON’T WANT THEIR PHOTOS ONLINE, THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE TAKEN THEM.

They’re private photos, dickheads! That’s like saying ‘If you didn’t want someone else to eat your dinner, then why did you cook it?’ Because it was made by them, for them and it’s not your fucking dinner. The fact that their dinner exists does not entitle you to a single bite. You are not entitled to see private photos and what is the alternative? Never taking these shots in case somehow, some way, some utter shit somehow steals them? Can they never cook a meal again because someone somewhere will stick their face in it? There body is theirs to share or keep private as they wish. It’s not your right or your choice.

PEOPLE WANT TO SEE THEM, WHY CAN’T THEY TAKE A COMPLIMENT?

When you start using the same logic as rapists then you need to fuck the fuck off. And besides, if you think corroding your chode to stolen property is complimentary then you really need a therapist.

LEAKS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO HAPPEN, WE SHOULD JUST IGNORE IT.

That’s the issue, it SHOULDN’T be the status quo that baddies will hack phones and steal property. Not only is this theft, it’s a sex crime. To say this is the norm merely perpetuates the myth that it will always happen and we just have to put up with it. It shouldn’t happen, it shouldn’t be the general state of being and to say it is only normalises it.

THEN WHY REPORT ON IT? YOU’RE ONLY PROMOTING THE PICTURES.

I think the writers of these pieces know that people will find out, it is the internet after all. Any decent site would never post the images or link to them, apart from Perez Hilton who is a fucking waste of lungs. There is a wider discussion to be had here about privacy and women in the spotlight and that’s important. We don’t have to see the images to discuss the wider ramifications.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? I WOULDN’T CARE IF THEY LEAKED PHOTOS OF MEN.

That’s just it, they wouldn’t leak photos of men. If naked selfies of Jon Hamm or Andrew Garfield were hacked, it would make the press in a similar way, but nowhere near this scale and it wouldn’t ignite this level of discussion. Unless of course the men in charge were outraged, then suddenly things would take a very different path and the perpetrator would already be arrested.

But then, if men could get pregnant, The Pill would be available in vending machines and taste of cheese and onion.

The thing is, that sleazy shit who did the hacking has no interest in men, neither do boys who look them up. They hate women, not men. They desire them, wank over them and then shame them because they can never have them. Women don’t act that way towards men, that’s why no male pics were released. It’s a bonding exercise for bastards.

Please don’t look at these pictures. So many males (I hesitate to use the word men) have gloated that it was a great day for masturbators. What the Hell kind of creepy wank are they having to photos that they KNOW were shared without the owner’s consent AND they know are causing a great deal of distress? They may as well be flapping to images of people crying. What the cock is wrong with people??

If you look for and enjoy these pictures then you are aiding and abetting a sex crime. You have no empathy and no respect for these women that you feel, in your twisted little way, that you are honouring. If you really neeeeeeeeeeeeed to crack one out to pictures of these people, there are countless photoshoots with them all over the internet. Pound away. But try to still have a productive day. If you neeeeeeeeeeed to see them naked for whatever reason, find images that they are okay with you seeing. Keira Knightley recently did a topless shoot and will no doubt be aware that many a seed will be spilt o’er land and sea. Not her first intention I’m sure but she CHOSE to do it. She WANTED the world to see her body and all power to her. Jennifer Lawrence didn’t and you should respect her choice.

As a pervert and a feminist, I am a big fan of onanism, but even more so I am a fan of a woman’s right to choose. I also have an imagination which, if you neeeeeeeeeeeed to see these pictures, you clearly don’t have. I would pity you if I didn’t hate you so much.

A massive thanks to Vicky Joyce for her help on this piece.