Why Dustin Hoffman Taught Us a Relationship Lesson in Tootsie
Tootsie might have been billed as a comedy starring Dustin Hoffman as a hapless actor forced to dress up as a woman in order to get a job, but underneath the make up and tomfoolery there’s an important message about relationships.
Naturally, given the presence of stars such as Bill Murray, the 1982 movie was always going to have its lighter moments, but in among the laughter Mr. Hoffman actually reveals why friendship is never far away from intimacy.
In fact, if you can forge a friendship before a relationship is formed, then you stand a much better chance of overcoming any potential intimacy issues according to relationship expert Linda Blair. A fear of intimacy can have serious implications for a relationship; however, as with all things in life, there’s no “one size fits all” definition or solution to the problem.
Intimacy Issues Linked to Life Events
As outlined by TheCircle, a fear of intimacy is often the result of a life event. Whether it’s a traumatic experience during someone’s childhood, feelings of low self esteem caused by bullying or a fear of rejection, there are many reasons people lack the ability to make intimate connections to their partner.
One way to overcome such problems is through talking and, interestingly, talking to a psychic. Because we often don’t know what we’re feeling or why we’re feeling it, it can often be difficult to unlock the truth. However, by listening to the powers around us and talking to an expert, we can often uncover our problems and start to address the issue.
However, before you get into a state of fear and unhappiness, there is a better way to avoid any intimacy issues and that’s through friendship. One of the defining moments in Tootsie is when Hoffman admits that he wants to start a relationship with Jessica Lange (Julie). Despite being dressed as a woman, Hoffman reveals his true identity and after Lange expresses her uncertainty he utters the immortal line: “Listen . . . the hard part’s over. We were already best friends.”
Friendship is the Way Round a Fear of Intimacy
That, in a nutshell, is a they key to overcoming any intimacy issues for the simple fact that it will help you avoid them from the start. As the experts at The Circle suggested, a fear of intimacy is often the result of a negative life event, so what better way to avoid this than to start a relationship off on a positive note.
Hoffman may not have intended to teach us a valuable lesson about relationships and intimacy when you agreed to star in Tootsie, but once you peel back the layers of the mobile you can hear the message loud and clear.
Being friends with someone before you enter into a relationship with them is a great way to prevent any issues further down the road. Now, we’re not suggesting you have to dress up like a lady if you’re a guy; however, if you do follow Hoffman’s example, then intimacy issues need not be a part of your relationship.
