Fifty Shades Darker review: The sequel to Fifty Shades Of Grey enters cinemas courtesy of series newcomer James Foley, but does it make the grade?
Fifty Shades Darker review by Awais Irfan, February 2017.
Fifty Shades Darker review
2015’s film adaptation of the smash-hit novel Fifty Shades of Grey was clearly a masterpiece of its time, and a box-office hit, so naturally the follow-up we all wanted is now here: Fifty Shades Darker. Unfortunately for us, this film is perhaps just as bad – if not worse – than its predecessor (you better believe it). Not that this news come as much surprise to anyone, but, to those of you holding onto that shred of hope, this film is not good at all.
As devoid of a plot as this film is, the basic story picks up where the first film left off. Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) has a new job – as an editor’s assistant – and has moved on from her relationship with Christian (Jamie Dornan). Still in love with her, though, the billionaire begs for her to re-enter his life and for them to have a fresh start – promising to ‘renegotiate terms’, with ‘no rules’ this time around. Agreeing to this, Ana quickly finds herself entangled back in Christian’s grip. But, this time around, she’s haunted by a ghost from Christian’s past – the woman that came before her in his life, Elena (Kim Basinger).
The worst thing about Fifty Shades Darker isn’t how plot-less or poorly directed or poorly acted it is (all of which are very true), but it’s rather how awfully written this screenplay is. The trilogy of novels, written by E.L James, started off as Twilight fan-fiction and it comes across on screen because the writing is as bad as it sounds like it would be. The film lacks any real substance and the dialogue is just so contrived and cringe-worthy; the character development is even more so. The film tries to get you to care for the characters of Ana and Christian but we simply cannot, because they’re unbelievably one-dimensional and bland. It’s hard to invest in anything in this story because it all feels so forced and lacklustre; we can’t care for these characters when they are constantly making poor decisions or saying cringe-worthy dialogue, and just feel like cartoon parodies of themselves.
The acting is no better. It’s almost as if no one could be bothered trying because they know that the film they’re acting in is not good. And if they know, you can be damn well sure that the audience knows too. This is clearly acting for the sake of it, acting because of contractual obligations or needing to cash in a paycheck – a real shame too when you look at this ensemble and the talent of the cast. The slight glimmer of hope in the bleakness that is Fifty Shades Darker was in director James Foley – who has helmed very decent content before, the likes of Glengarry Glen Ross, and several great episodes of hit TV shows such as Hannibal and House of Cards – but he adds nothing here. This a very convoluted film, with such a weak premise, and many subplots are thrown in for the sake of it but never explained beyond a scene or two, and Foley translates it all mawkishly to the screen – making this film all the more unbearable.
The cherry on top of this cake of disaster is that it’s also perhaps the most unromantic film ever: it lacks spark. If nothing else, such a film could have a least been made somewhat redeemable with a little bit of sexy, romantic flair thrown in but watching the sex scenes just feels awkward. This is due to a lack of investment in the characters and their relationship, but also poor directing and a very bleak and mundane aesthetic and editing style. It’s a very messily handled film. That’s really the gist of it. Just watching the stale, unromantic chemistry between Johnson and Dornan is difficult enough. I guess if there’s a tiny needle of positivity to be found in this absolutely huge haystack of crap, it’s perhaps that this film is genuinely so awful and cringe-worthy that it’s laughably bad. And when a film is unintentionally funny because of how downright terrible it is, then it’s most certainly dead in the water.
Fifty Shades Darker review by Awais Irfan, 2017.
Fifty Shades Darker is now playing in cinemas.
