‘There’s No Such Thing as Vampires’ Review: Dir. Logan Thomas [FrightFest 2020]

Despite being one of the original movie monsters, vampires have fallen a little out of fashion in recent years. There was a time when everywhere you looked, you were surrounded by films about those with fangs, but thanks to films like the Twilight saga, which re-branded them as glittery emos, filmmakers have become reluctant to tackle the beast. We have of course had comedy mockumentary, What We Do in the Shadows, and several seasons of shows, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, and The Originals, but as with Twilight, none of these have featured the ferocious creatures that we know vampires can be. It’s refreshing then to see someone tackle them once again and do so with the intent of showcasing them as violent animals once more; with There’s No Such Thing as Vampires, Logan Thomas does just that.

Ariel (Emma Holzer) is driving cross-country to visit some friends when she crosses paths with the bloodied and terrified Joshua (Josh Plasse). Joshua believes he is being pursued by a monstrous vampire, and after commandeering her vehicle, Ariel finds herself dragged along for the ride. Initially Ariel is dubious, believing Joshua to be delusional on account of his injuries, but she soon witnesses the creature’s vitriol first hand. The pair then find themselves in a race for their lives as their pursuer is intent on their destruction no matter what.

There’s always something unnerving about the idea of an unstoppable force rolling towards you, and that dread is captured and its essence is distilled in this film. Just as Ariel and Joshua are constantly looking over their shoulders, the audience are kept forever on edge, constantly expecting the vampire to materialise from every dark corner. Thomas sustains this sense of dread, opting to create unease rather than just keep throwing the bad guy at them. It’s a move that pays dividends as there are only so many times you can watch characters narrowly escape a supposed apex predator before credibility wanes.

Road movies often struggle to keep the viewer grounded. The very nature of them means that our leads are constantly in motion, and without any firm location, it can be a little disorientating. What There’s No Such Thing as Vampires does to curb this, is offer the viewer a constant in the form of the score. Composed by Thomas himself, the score is a blistering, pulsating, sonorous aural display of synthwave music at its best. The beats punctuate the action and perfectly mirror the perpetual forward motion of Ariel and Joshua. By being this driving force for the action on screen, in many ways, the melodies take on their own character, one that gives the audience all the right signals for what they should be feeling and when. There’s a clear influence from some of the greats: Brad Fiedel, Vangellis, Tangerine Dream, and even fellow director/composer John Carpenter. If you’re a fan of any of these, you’ll instantly be smitten. I for one am already trying to figure out how I can get my hands on a copy of it.

There’s No Such Thing As Vampires may be a road movie about vampires, but it shares much more of its DNA with The Terminator than it does Dracula. There are also nods to Mad Max, The Hitcher, and Duel, but it’s Cameron’s influence that shines brightest. There’s a similarity between the look and feel of this film, and Cameron’s 1984 classic, with Thomas following in Cameron’s usage of mixing metallic and neon hues together. If you’re a fan of The Terminator (and why wouldn’t you be?), you’ll also notice plenty of little homages from character work, to situations, down to camera angles that are almost identical, as well as little flourishes in the score. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and luckily Thomas knows just when to reign it in and stop in order to prevent it from just being a carbon copy, albeit with vampires instead of cyborgs. After watching There’s No Such Thing as Vampires, you are left feeling oddly comforted by how familiar the film feels. It’s like when you meet someone for the first time, but feel as though you’ve known them your whole life. This factor plays nicely alongside some of the narrative points.

In There’s No Such Thing as Vampires, we finally get some vampires that we can be afraid of again. Combine this new vampiric monstrosity with some striking visuals and a masterful electronic fuelled score (which is easily one of the best in years), and you’re onto a winner.

There’s No Such Thing as Vampires was reviewed at Arrow Video FrightFest 2020.