Douglas Schulze has been directing movies on and off since 1992. In that time he has amassed seven feature film credits, all of which sit nicely within the realm of horror. His eighth movie, Thorns, sticks to Schulze’s established pattern, mixing in a healthy dose of science-fiction to create a film that sits somewhere between Event Horizon and Hellraiser. The plot of Thorns follows ex-priest Gabe (Jon Bennett). Now working for NASA, Gabe is sent to investigate a remote observatory which, after receiving a radio signal from deep space, has become unreachable. Upon arrival Gabe discovers that the signal has set in motion terrible events which portent a Biblical end of times…
Thorns wears its influences on its sleeve. The graphic eye-splitting opening channels the aggression found in the opening moments of Clive Barker’s Hellraiser. Then there’s the primary antagonist of Thorns, a creature who could easily be Pinhead’s cousin. Speaking of Pinhead, Doug Bradley himself features in a supporting role as Bishop Jenkins, who is available to help Gabe unpick his thoughts and act as Mr Exposition for the viewer. Schulze’s love for Barker’s world is evident immediately, but the plot is where the Event Horizon components enter the fray. Discussions about Hell dimensions take centre stage and the whole premise of investigating a derelict building parallels the journey of Event Horizon’s Weir and Miller. The meshing of both themes work to create something extra strange and scary, is sound on paper. In practice, Schulze may have bitten off more than he can handle.
Though Schulze’s ambition is admirable, the budget constraints are hard to ignore. Amazing work and attention to detail has been put into the thorn-adorned cenobite homage. The being is dazzling to see on screen. Similarly, the practical gore effects all go off without a hitch. The issue comes in the form of the setting. So much of the budget has been pumped into achieving awe-inspiring special effects, it seems that there was little left over to dress the setting. Attempts have clearly been made to generate the concept of a sci-fi appropriate observatory, but in reality it is hard to shake the sensation that you’re watching something filmed in a local community hall. To fully appreciate Thorns, it is best to look beyond this setting; sit back and savour whenever the thorned beast is on-screen.
In terms of plot, Thorns is not the shonky sci-fi B-movie that the budget would suggest. Instead Schulze’s script analyses religion, the concept of good and evil, and how mankind fits into the universe. It contains a lot of philosophical musings and religious jargon, and will muddle the minds of those expecting something more simplistic. Schulze’s ideas and ultimate destination for Thorns are interesting, though the inclusion of mute nun Sister Agnes (Cassandra Schomer) makes it hard for some of Schulze’s message to fully communicate itself.
Let down by its overly ambitious nature, Thorns shines brightest when focusing on birthing elegant practical effects and make-up onto the screen. Outside of this, it struggles to connect, and lack of budget elsewhere allows too much of a peek behind the curtain for the viewer to wholeheartedly invest. That being said, should anyone be looking for a depraved mind to direct a new Hellraiser movie, Schulze would be a great fit.
Thorns
Summary
Hampered by its lack of resources, Thorns throws all efforts into creating a memorable creature and succeeds. Outside of that, it struggles to fully connect.
Thorns was reviewed at Pigeon Shrine FrightFest 2023.
