Director (s) : John Lasseter, Brad Lewis
Cast: Larry the Cable Guy, Own Wilson, Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Eddie Izzard
Running Time: 106 minutes
Certificate: U
Synopsis: Star race car Lightning McQueen and his pal Mater head overseas to compete in the World Grand Prix race. But the road to the championship becomes rocky as Mater gets caught up in an intriguing adventure of his own: international espionage.
Humanising inanimate objects is one of the great pleasures of the only child. Wild haired tooth brushes, big bummed pears, the door handle that transforms into a big nosed geriatric, look hard enough, and you could find a friend in every room. But when it came to cars, the potential for personification was almost too much to bear. Suddenly, you have these vibrant, zooming objects that speak with the roar, wink happily with their headlights and smile with a big hulking metal hood. And the choice on the roads, well, there was a whole extended family waiting to be found. There was the fat, friendly uncle (Volkswagen Beetle), the mildly demented Granddad (Austin Healy) and the estranged alcoholic brother (an old white Lada).
Sadly, Cars 2, Pixar’s questionable offering to mark their 25th anniversary, has honed in on this childlike wonder, and produced a film whose merchandise is more enjoyable than the story. The real problem with this chugging franchise, is that cars as characters simply doesn’t work. Monsters Inc had lasting appeal for its limitless imagination, every creature was bespoke, lovingly thought up by the Pixar team and moulded from tooth to tail. Children bring cars to life because they have to – to escape the mundane. Why would five year olds want a film that barely rivals their own imagination?
And the story? A Man-From-Uncle style mish mash of British espionage, mistaken spy-entity, and a combo smear campaign against alternative fuel and petrol. It opens with Bond rip-off Finn Mcmissle (Michael Caine) clinging onto the side of the boat on a secret mission. This, is SUPPOSED to be the key action scene, but it’s impossible to look cool when you’re plodding around on tyres. All the go-go gadgets aside, these sequences of cars chasing cars look awkward, clunky, and you can help but find yourself waiting for the ‘real’ characters to appear.
Meanwhile, Lightning McQueen returns to a heroes welcome at Radiator Springs, but is goaded back onto the racetrack thanks to Allinol, an alternative fuel created by a very misplaced Eddie Izzard (Axelrod). He is joined by goofy tow truck, Mater on his world Gran Prix. The event is essentially a forum for Pixar to show off their unrivalled attention to detail when animating Tokyo, Italy and London. Not to mention an opportunity for more car puns than you can shake an aerial at. Wouldn’t catch THN indulging in that tripe….ahem.
Mater’s too-hick to handle character leaves us pining for the docile Southern tones of the late Jim Varney. Instead, we get the hillbilly pastiche of Larry the Cable Guy. Like history before him, the story’s fool becomes story’s accidental hero. Mater finds himself at the centre of Cars 2 but isn’t armed with any funny dialogue or charm to carry him through.
Cynics will claim that Lasseter sacrificed The Incredibles 2 to shift boxes of plastic cars into the sticky hands of toddlers. At THN, we have faith in Pixar, and put it down to Lasseters irrefutable and unfortunate passion for racing. This was an interest he shared with the late Paul Newman, who voiced Doc Hudson in the original Cars movie. Lasseter even offered a subtle but sweet tribute which serves to be the best moment in the film, at a recent press conference Lasseter said,
“We came up with the idea that the big cup that they race for in Lightning Mcqueen’s racing circles is now called the Huston hornet Memorial Piston cup in honour of Doc Hudson…There’s a moment at the beginning of the film which is my little moment dedicated to Paul Newman.”
Sentiment aside, this is the Waterwold of the Pixar community. And with respect to the man who gave us Toy Story, Cars was always broke, so why try and fix it?
