Precious Cargo review: Zack Morris and John McClane together at last in this direct-to-DVD film that has snuck into cinemas.
Precious Cargo review
Bruce Willis! How do you feel about that name? It’s one that has changed its meaning and sound throughout the years. From sitcom star to unexpected action hero, to taking on challenging prestige roles in the late 90s, Willis hasn’t exactly become stale. Recently however he has given his name to small budget action films, showed up, read his lines, and seen them go straight to DVD or streaming. This isn’t surprising however as the movie star as we know it is pretty much dead. Willis still impresses when he gets into original and challenging material such as Moonrise Kingdom, or Looper, but why not earn a buck on the side?
Precious Cargo isn’t exactly the dream outing anybody was waiting for. Mark-Paul Gosselaar, best known as Zack Morris from Saved By The Bell despite excellent roles in other TV series, plays Jack, a wise cracking and charming thief whose ballsy thefts include tricking gunrunners into shooting him with blanks. Thankfully they only shoot at the chest making his fake death easier to pull off. Despite almost settling down with an unsuspecting vet Jenna (Lydia Hull), his ex-girlfriend Karen (Claire Forlani) steps back into the picture both pregnant, and hunted by ticked off crime boss Eddie (Willis). Jack finds himself compromised and having to pull off difficult heists to appease Eddie, but there’s only so much he can take.
Precious Cargo review
First we have to address the elephant in the room which is the casting of Bruce Willis. Sure, like John Cusack, he mixes his career with easy pay cheques and more personal and powerful films, but this is a new low. Willis does nothing other than drearily say his lines, I’m sure he was just plunked down in spots and it wasn’t in his contract to move. When he needs to show his force his henchman Simon (Daniel Bernhardt) is the one to stab a traitor through the hand. Even when Eddie is shot at, it’s Simon who has to tackle him to the ground, and even then Willis was probably played by a stunt double. There are scenes when Eddie speaks with his back to the camera where it is an obvious stand-in for Willis, and the whole thing is a detraction from the actual film.
Elsewhere it’s a typical straight to DVD action film. Gosselaar is a likable hero and has a lot of charisma, although the lines are laughable as opposed to badass. Forlani has enough seductive whispers to pull off the femme fatale shtick, and others in the cast just look happy to be there. Action sequences are shaky and sometimes incoherent, although it all looks practical and there’s something nice about not being inundated with computer effects.
Precious Cargo review
The film has a decent heart, where director Max Adams tries to turn his short into a nostalgic mix of 80s action and 50s film noir. It could have worked, but there’s an unfortunate orange hue to every frame, and a film that is loud in all the wrong places, making dialogue sometimes unintelligible. Overall it’s a film that had a chance to be made and just was. There’s room for such films back in the multiplexes, but they’re going to need a lot more polish than this.
Precious Cargo review by Luke Ryan Baldock, July 2016.
Precious Cargo is released in cinemas and On Demand from today.
