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Hollywood Gods: THN’s Best And Worst

Since the dawn of film classic stories have been told – and retold –many times. After Errol Flynn strapped on a pair of green tights for THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD (1938) that cheery little robber has been portrayed more times than you can shake Fryer Tucks alcohol filled goblet at; PINOCCHIO (1940) a story of a devious little wooden scamp who sees fit to run away from home, have a drink then almost kills his dad has been told an equal amount of times. It is therefore no surprise Hollywood has taken solace in the leviathan of tales based around Greek mythology.

To celebrate, or possibly commiserate, the release of WRATH OF THE TITANS this month, we at The Hollywood News have compiled a few of the best – and worst – screen gods, messiah,s and bible folk from the silver-screen

THOR (2011)

The hammer is a useful tool: I used one earlier to fix a shelf. However, back in the day it would appear they had a different use, namely bludgeoning. Based on the Marvel comic book – in turn based on Greek mythology – THOR, it turns out, is a sensitive soul who happens to be built like a wardrobe. Crashing to earth after being banished from Asgard by his father Odin, our hero is soon trying to find his hammer on earth whilst coming to terms with a different culture. The charismatic Chris Hemsworth is perfect in the title role of an excellent film.

LIFE OF BRIAN (1979) 

Blasphemy is something of a taboo in life; the Monty Python crew must’ve missed that meeting when they conceived LIFE OF BRIAN. Following Brian, a normal Bethlehem resident who happens to have been born the same day as Jesus in the barn next door, the film is one of the funniest ever made. Be it Terry Jones playing Brian’s mum or the extraordinary sequence in which Brian is trailed by hundreds of ‘followers’, the film is a delightful take on a serious subject matter.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (1956)

Cecil B DeMille was the innovator of the blockbuster. With a budget of $14 million, THE TEN COMMANDMENTS was, at the time, the most expensive film ever made: with sprawling sets that are still impressive 56 years after the film’s release and a magnetic central performance from Charlton Heston, the film is an enduring classic and made with such love and craft it’s impossible not to love – even at close to four hours in length.

Those are our best. Now for a couple of the worst!

LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST (1988)

Based on Nikos Kazantzakis’ novel, THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST is by no means a bad film. It studies the virtues and pitfalls of temptation with God’s nipper in the central role. Sadly the film’s Jesus (Willem Defoe) is a somewhat arrogant man, not befitting the bearded good guy in the bible, and the end is sensationalist nonsense. SPOILER ALERT – he’s offered a bit of fornication in exchange for his thorn hat on the cross.

CLASH OF THE TITANS (2010)

Second chances aren’t afforded to many in Hollywood, well unless you make money, which is exactly what this soulless, humourless disaster of a film did in 2010. Such is the tone of the film that it is impossible to care about anyone on screen, people are killed without a flicker of emotion from any characters and i’ts up to Liam Neeson to add at least a modicum of class to proceedings. Sadly even he and his mighty beard can’t save the splurge of nonsense on screen.

The release of WRATH OF THE TITANS this month gives the cast a second shot at Greek mythological glory and judging by the trailer below they might just have got it right.

WRATH OF THE TITANS is released in theatres 30th March 2012

Sam is a bloody lovely lad born and raised in Bristol (he’s still there and can’t escape). Favourite films include THE LOST BOYS, DRIVE, FIGHT CLUB and COMMANDO, well pretty much any 1980s Arnie film you can throw his way…even RED SONJA. Sam once cancelled a Total Film subscription after they slagged off Teen Wolf. He resubscribed 2 days later.

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