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Ridiculous Rewrite: Life Sized Dwayne Johnson Doll In New Drama MAN-AKIN

Here is the first image from the new heart breaking drama MAN-AKIN, starring a life size doll of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.

(Not really, the photo is actually from FAST & FURIOUS 6, and this article is a spoof. But you already knew that)

The Johnson doll plays itself, a disaster prone mannequin that causes things to go wrong wherever it is placed. The above photo (Tweeted by The Rock himself who has only just been made aware of this movie) shows the pretty piece of plastic being used in a commercial. But, as always, disaster strikes the (apparently cursed?) effigy and an earthquake hits. It destroys the set, killing half the crew and paralysing Jessica Biel, who plays herself acting in the commercial opposite the Johnson figure. In an amazing display of method acting, Biel was willing to be genuinely paralised for the sequence, a bit like when Robert De Niro made himself super fat for RAGING BULL, but with more spinal and nerve damage.

MAN-AKIN was due to be a comedy but, when viewing the rushes, director Ken Loach could not stop crying and decided to alter the script to give it some of his trademark social realism. This should give the life-size Dwayne Johnson action figure a lot to expect come awards season.

MAN-AKIN stars Dwayne Johnson’s muscular manly mannequin, Jessica Biel and Peter Mullan. It is directed by Ken Loach and will never be in cinemas because it doesn’t exist and never will.

Source: Coming Soon, The Rock’s Twitter

 

John is a gentleman, a scholar, he’s an acrobat. He is one half of the comedy duo Good Ol’ JR, and considers himself a comedy writer/performer. This view has been questioned by others. He graduated with First Class Honours in Media Arts/Film & TV, a fact he will remain smug about long after everyone has stopped caring. He enjoys movies, theatre, live comedy and writing with the JR member and hetero life partner Ryan. Some of their sketches can be seen on YouTube and YOU can take their total hits to way over 17!

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